For the last couple of months, I kept on chasing dreams that are so elusive. For one, I would like to jumpstart my career in other field, but there are always circumstances (i.e. my need for a work visa) that hinder me to get job offers. There was one wherein I had already my pen ready to sign the employment agreement, but when I checked again to confirm if the new employer will give me a visa, they declined. (That was close for me to render my resignation on my current job, which may end up for me being kicked out of UK coz my "new employer" will not provide me a visa!) I was still blessed that I did not reach that point. I was also offered an opportunity to work in a project which I believe would provide me the necessary career exposures I need, but jurisdictions and immigration rules have again set the boundaries - and I feel that these dreams/goals are slowly taken away from my grasps. There were moments I felt frustrated, almost can't plan out due to anticipation, got hopeful, confident, then excited, insecured and back to hoping again. Beyond all these, I would like to choose to keep my faith. Someday, soon, that which is meant for me will come and I will welcome it with arms wide open.
James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy when you fall into various trials, cause your faith and perseverance are being tested."
I would like to specially mention "the honey" who has always been there for me and witness the moments I laughed, I cried, I sat quietly looking at nowhere, felt frustrated (I guess I have shown all bits of my characters in front of him!). The "honey" who patiently listens to my indecisiveness and my scattered thoughts coz I could not come up with final decisions. He often says "I am here and I will look after you", but it feels more better when those words became actions whenever he wraps me inside his arms to assure me that things will be alright and when he makes efforts to see me back smiling and laughing and back to my happy self again.
Everyday I am filled with his "I love yous" - he has never missed out a single day yet! :)
During moments like this I feel that those I had been dreaming/aiming for are so far away, it helps so much to choose to take away my thoughts on them and instead, focus more on what I do have now and be grateful for them. The greatest blessing I have (next to family) is "the honey" - and with that, I feel so abundant and prosperous in my life with his overflowing love. (Thank you, Jesus!)
During one of those times I felt melo-dramatic (blame the hormones caused by the monthly red visitor), I poured out my emotional baggage to him, and felt just so blessed with his response. (I just have to blurry his name.)
Such priceless gift. :)
Love lots,
L
No comments:
Post a Comment