Waking Up from My Worst Nightmare

During the onset of my first winter season here abroad, my emotions and belief in myself were also challenged and tested. Aside from the cold weather I experienced every day, the warmth inside me are also turning cold - making me helpless, sickish, lonely and empty.

 

For some of you who had followed my previous blog (abundantpinoy.blogspot.com), you would notice the lag of time I wrote there during those winter months - it was for this reason that I was undergoing personal struggles - both in my relationship and career. It is that "quarter-life" crisis, as they say.  I never wrote them in detail, because I never want to take record of those ill feelings and situations.  But now, I write them down because slowly but surely, I am able to face it heads up and with the desired outcome. =)

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During those winter months, aside from my long-distance relationship crumbling down, my professional credibility was also challenged. It was those times when I looked at myself so down, I stepped myself so low and my confidence was "depreciating" every single day. I felt stupid and embarrassed. My health was affected.  I wanted to raise the white flag of surrender, pack my bags and head straight to the Philippines. I was also immature. I was impatient about my growth. I could not understand the lessons behind those uncomfortable situations. I missed my laughters and wacky self during those cold winter months.

 

When I got back from my almost one-month December vacation in Philippines, I was greeted by a "Welcome Back!" smile from one of the persons I consider as 'monster' in my work-life. (That was the immature side of me who thought like that.)  Every single month, I tried to decipher the lessons - until I stopped focusing on it - and just tried to live each day as how I "should" live it, because I realised, time passes me by and whooops, I could no longer bring it back if I just keep my focus on these odd scenarios.

The outcome? I was able to jump over these hurdles!  My relationship with my boyfriend and ties with his family went stronger. I discovered new passions (such as online business, stock investments, blog writing and a few days from now: real estate investing).  I shared my blessings to my fellows (the Kergyma Family, our church and other charities).  I became a more thoughtful and loving friend. I serve Him more through our songs during the Sunday mass.  I was able to conduct stock market investing to my fellow OFWs here in UK.  I discovered, learned from and travelled to European countries (My very first time: I always get excited to see those different country immigration stamps in my passport! Yeheee.) I gained more friends online and established trust with my business partners.  Moreover, I overcome that "learning curve" in my work - I was able to get over from the culture shock, to adjust to my job role, to keep pace to the British way of working, to be thankful of being in a first-world country and most importantly, to take these skills to enhance my professional credibility and the person that I am.

 

Last week, the senior manager of my client sent an email to my manager and director regarding how thankful he is for the assistance and cooperation I provided to his team.  Honestly, in my whole career, this is the very FIRST time I received such recognition and written feedback from a client (as you may know in Phils, sinusupladahan ang mga auditors ng mga clients. My clients before always had a way of making me feel as if I’m making their life miserable. Twoinks. They just don’t know that they make mine worst. Haha.). I was really grateful for such feedback and our director (na isa rin sa knatatakutan ko before) had overwhelmed me with so much "Well done. Good job." to my works. Awesome!!! Our dear Lord is amazing - I acknowledged it is not me who is at work, but His hands are.

 

In the coming months, it's going to be "promotion" time.  Can I be honest here? Since I was in grade school, I never really care about recognition. Yes, it feels good to be recognised and get the applause of the people around me. It feels great to be famous and to go onstage to receive the medals. But for me, I am just enjoying what I do and the fruits of such enjoyment are humanly recognition.  On my part, I already received the greatest prize even before the recognition was provided - which is to discover the person that I am as I go through such process. =)  And I am more than enough grateful for that.

 

Keep learning and keep on moving forward!

Cheers,

Lyn-Lyn _(",)/